Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
