just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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