I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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