So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
