Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
