I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
