We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
