Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize