That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
