I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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