so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
