put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
