Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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