3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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