He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
