I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize