If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
