get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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