I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
