How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize