Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
