So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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