Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
