i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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