We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
