i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize