I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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