The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
