you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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