I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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