Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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