Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize