you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I came so hard my ears popped.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
