All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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