Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
