I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
