i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
