Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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