yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
