You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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