a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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