im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
