I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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