Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
