I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Boobs speak an international language.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
