Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
