Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
