she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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