whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
