i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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