Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize