So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
