I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
