dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
