That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
