But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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