just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
